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First, I just want to say to everyone the following:

Congratulations. You’ve made it to a new year. From blackouts to bombs, fires to shootings, parties to apocalypses promised, you’ve succeeded in survival and making the best of what was to come. May your 2014 be better than the last year (and past years) and may you succeed in what endeavors come your way. Always make the decisions that make you happy, and do your best to help someone in need. You may never know when you’ll be the soul in need, and someone helps you.

Ok, so that is my hopes and whatnot for you all. Take it how you like, but remember you can only succeed if you try.

Speaking of trying, I did something I never thought was possible. I was dabbling on the interwebs one day in October, and found that the Henson family (you know, the amazing Jim Henson, Muppets, and other Henson creatures) was hosting an open call for writers to contribute to the story progression of The Dark Crystal. It is formally known as Author Quest and open to entries from aspiring authors. Not being really confident in my writing, I sat on the idea of contribution for several days; quite possibly a week. Well, I’m proud to say I ended up submitting a piece, though unfinished due to time restraints and personal life, to them in hopes that my ideas spark some kind of response.

I’m not confident enough to think that I submitted an award winning piece. I am confident, however, that no matter what the outcome, I will not have any regrets. I set out to make something. I made it. I submitted it, and now wait eagerly like a child at Christmas to find out if I’ve been good.

Confirmation image once my submission was accepted.

Confirmation image once my submission was accepted.

I’ll be happy if I get a note saying, “Thanks for trying, but no cigar.” What mattered most was that I actually went through with it. My lack of confidence didn’t hold me back. My intuition and creativity guided me, and I wrote what I could to submit a piece by December 31, 2013. I DID IT!

As for what has been going on, I’ve neglected to write as I’ve just been too busy, too lazy, or just too damn sick.

Submitted a request to be put on my husband’s health insurance. Pretty sure if they deny me, I’m going to hunt every bastard down and threaten to put poop in their morning coffee.

I’ve become increasingly more in debt thanks to my health, student loans (boy, was that choice ever a waste), and other bills I can’t afford to pay. To be honest, I just don’t give a fuck anymore. You want money? I’ll give you $0.50 a day. That’s what I can afford being disabled. I’m not blowing money on extravagant clothes or getting my hair done. I haven’t had that luxury in years. I pay my house payment, what bills I can, and just say fuck it to the rest. You can’t get blood from a rock, and I don’t qualify for any assistance because my husband and I make just above poverty level… by like $2.00 — no joke. I wish I could make this shit up, but having exhausted all avenues for aid, I’ve heard the same song and dance over and over again. Sorry, you’re just above poverty level. So sad!

Christmas was the first time in two years I bought anything for myself that wasn’t necessary. By necessary I mean food, water, TP, or medical help. I actually splurged and got myself some candles from Bath & Body works. That were on sale. And I have an additional coupon. Woo.

For now, I’m just trying to survive. I’m sick. I didn’t get my flu shot this winter. Sorry, but bills take precedence at times, and this was a time we couldn’t budget my shot, even though I have a weakened immune system (thanks broke-ass body!). Things seem bleak, but we make do. I shouldn’t complain, but it’s the one thing that lets me know I’m still alive.

Thanks to everyone who reads this load of crap.

Remember to take care of yourself and those around you. Happy New Year.

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