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I’m having a good weekend. Both my parents are here visiting my husband and I. It has been very relaxed and uneventful, but worth it.

In the morning we are going to the AZ renn. faire that started this weekend. I am very excited and nervous. I love going to these types of entertaining events. The atmosphere is so energetic and thrilling. My fears, though however meaningless, tend to do me in before I even ever start my adventure.

I’m worried I wont be able to enjoy myself . I even worry that my health will contribute to this. I even fear that because of that, I will ruin a good day out for everyone. I can’t walk well and it bothers me to no end that I can no longer keep up with others. I’m worried my back will hinder my day and cause us to end the fun earlier than expected.

How can I get over these feelings and guilt? Will I ever get over these feelings and guilt? I don’t know. I am going to do my very best to not fall behind or hold anyone back from their enjoyment. I just want the pain to go away.