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Strangely enough, today went quite smoothly. The Renaissance Faire was absolutely the best part of this visit with my parents. I got out, I got exercise, and I enjoyed myself. I did slow everyone down a bit, but they didn’t mind. It was still fun.

I wish I didn’t slip into the state of mind I was in last blog post. I’m just depressed. Kind of beyond repair.

It’s hard trying to pay bills and maintain a healthy lifestyle on a limited budget. Then having no health insurance added on top of that has made life even more complicated. I’m one dizzy spell away from falling off the stairs.

But, finding out from my husband’s insurance that I was denied again, and no one bothered to fucking tell me, really puts me over the edge. I am astounded by the lack of communication skills BCBS of AZ has with its potential customers. Why didn’t you fucking assholes tell me two months ago, that I was denied? You had made that decision then. So, why force me to wait? Why do I have to hunt you fuckers down to get the answer I needed? Do you realize the stress I have dealt with? The fucking gut wrenching anxiety? No. You don’t know. You don’t care. If you cared, two months ago, after I reapplied for coverage, you just passed over letting me know while you were getting a reach around by the office slut.

Now, I have to find some kind of insurance through the ACA. Which, I am not opposed to. I appreciate having this service to help me find options, especially since companies can no longer deny me coverage due to my pre-existing conditions. But, even when I do finally get coverage, I have to wait till March. My Medicare doesn’t kick in until April. Seriously, two years of getting jerked around, denied coverage, losing coverage, and being unable to get help from doctors or blood tests I desperately need, has seriously destroyed me physically, emotionally, and otherwise. I am not the same Shanna from a year ago. Nor the same from 5 years ago. I’m bitter, recluse, unable to do things that others take for granted, and barely capable of living outside the realm of my bed/home.

So, thank you insurance fucks. Thank you for your monopolization of the entire process until this year. I hope someone gives it to you in the ass just as rough as you have given it to those of us who needed your help and were cut off, denied, and ignored.

Dear Health Insurance companies... read. Absorb. Remember.

Dear Health Insurance companies… read. Absorb. Remember.