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I gave up in writing in my blog a while back because I don’t think I am very interesting.However, the past year or so has brought me some wondrous emotions.

I want to start with the loss of a friend. A friend that I thought loved me as much as I loved her. A friend whose every transgression, secrets, and lies I kept to myself. She didn’t care about me, and she definitely didn’t fight to keep our love of each other strong.

Her birthday came, which is just a few days before Christmas. I had sunk my money into medical bills, feeding my family, and taking care of my two pregnant dogs and their pups. For years (9+ years) I would buy her a bouquet of white roses, that always were delivered on her birthday. Unfortunately, I couldn’t afford to do this for her, and made it known of my being so broke. My husband and I were so broke, that we had to live off ramen noodles, or eat nothing at all.

Now, before this point, I had made a new friend. I moved to Arizona and met Julia. We shared an interest in sugar gliders, and from there our friendship blossomed. Because of what happened next, I truly believe that my ex-friend was jealous of my new friend.

So, I didn’t send the birthday roses. I only verbally called to wish her a good day and let her know I loved her. Without warning, and without any explanation, my ex-friend removed me from Facebook. She didn’t remove my husband or my father, which proved to me that she did have an issue. I let them both know what she did, and they removed her without any requests from me.

How can someone be so petty? I don’t understand it, and at that time I figured it really wasn’t worth trying to understand or rectify. 

Recently, I did a search for her. I saw the beauty pageants she was participating in. I also saw her (second) DUI mugshot. All I can say about that is I hope she gets the help from someone. Help she desperately needs. 

The saddest part about all of this is I would take her back as a friend, in a heartbeat. She wouldn’t lose the promise I made about never spilling out her secrets. Even if she told me to fuck off, I still have kept and will keep her secrets. No matter what.

That’s enough writing for me, at the moment. I needed to get that out of my head and heart. Now I will continue on with my life being just a little more emotionally healed. Over time this, and her, will barely be a memory.

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