This kind of shit only happens to me.

I went to the grocery store to get a couple things. As I am walking around, a guy approached me, from behind, and says very loudly, “Where are the frozen sweet peas?”
Now, we are actually standing at the end of the frozen food section. Not realizing that the gentleman was addressing me, I continue to shop. Again, the man, who was literally two inches from my ass, yells, “HEY! I’m talking to you! Show me where the peas are!”
I turn around and give a resting bitch face followed with, “No.”  Guy gets pissed off, and tells me that he’s going to get me fired, calls me a lazy fat bitch, and stared me down. 
I respond to him, telling him I don’t work there, told him to get fucked, and then said, “Yes, I’m fat. Because every time I fucked your dad, he gave me cookies.”
The guy didn’t know how to respond. His face was bright red. He storms off to get the manager, and brings her to where I am. He tells her I’m a terrible employee, and that I swore at him, and refused to help him.
Manager looks at me, completely confused. She then looks back at the gentleman and tells him, “She is a customer. She doesn’t work here.” He got belligerent with her, calling her a liar.
She kicked him out of the store. 

She apologized to me, which wasn’t necessary. I thanked her and finished up my shopping.
I’m not going out in public ever again. Fucking assholes are everywhere!