Tell me about myself. I want to be entertained!
Tell me about myself. I want to be entertained!
I’m feeling a little better than I was the other day. Despite the seizure, and being scared to death, I am ok.
Feeling a little bit down, but it will pass.
I’ve been getting out of the house more. It’s actually been very positive for me.
My mom takes me to a Bunco night. I’ve met some wonderful ladies and really enjoy the game. I love making people laugh, and even if I look like an asshat, I’m glad that I can be a positive experience.
I’ve also been going out with both my parents to trivia nights. Once or twice a week, we go to a bar/restaurant and participate in the trivia.
It’s a fucking blast!
Tonight, the three of us competed against 10 +/- teams. There was a lot of people there! We won 2nd place! We beat a team of about 13 people.
Just us three. How fucking cool is that?
I’ve made a new friend. Actually, a few new ones. My brother plays an online RPG, and made loads of friends. He has introduced me to them, and I just kinda did my best to be part of the human experience.
I absolutely adore one of them. He looks out for my brother, and that means the world to me. So many people have taken advantage of him, stole from him, and hurt him in so many different ways. It really helps to know that I am not the only one who cares.
This dude though. He is fucking hilarious. Great person and someone whom I am glad to call a friend. Hopefully, he isn’t scared of my crazy ass, and calls me a friend, too.
I’m tired. I need sleep. So, I bid you adieu.
Yesterday, at 4:50 PM, I had a seizure.
I was scared to death as my body tensed up, and began to violently jerk. I felt like I was being electrocuted from head to toe. I was gasping for air with every jolt that shot through me.
What was only a few seconds, felt like an eternity. I only remember bits of the episode, but it was enough to know that something wasn’t right. My husband was quick to assist me, ensuring that I didn’t get hurt. He was calm. He’s seen it before.
Once the jerking and the feeling of electricity shocks subsided, I ran out of the room, into the closest bathroom, and cried. I was scared. I don’t know what caused it to happen.
I’m writing this so I have it documented, in case I ever needed it for medical records. Nothing more.
As expected, and gave me anxiety, the heat here (Arizona) has been steadily rising. We have been sitting around 109°, with forecast predictions for the heat to be in the 120° range.
I don’t do bad in the heat, but I sweat like a mother fucker. I’m glad I have my mohawk, because I have really thick hair. I don’t want to bathe in my sweat.
Over the last few weeks, I have been planning a little bit of a gathering. My (ex-)best friend’s husband is going to be here, starting tomorrow. Poor guy is going to be dying. I really hope he doesn’t get sick.
It would have been nice to have his wife come with, but she left him, and ditched any kind of interaction with my husband and me. Breaks my heart. I would have given everything up just to hug her. To spend quality, fun times with her. But, none of that is going to ever come to fruition.
I’m probably being very bi-polar about my emotions about her. It’s not easy being discarded with no explanation.
So, Matt will be meeting with us, and enjoying a lunch break. I was awful to him, several years ago. I was lead to believe that he was an abusive asshole. I was also accused, by his mother-in-law (who has known me for almost 20 years), that I was trying to seduce him. I don’t think I have ever been so shocked, insulted, and pissed off in my life. Please excuse this following outburst: SHE’S A FUCKING PSYCHO LYING CUNT. That was the last straw. She drove a wedge between us. She has no idea how much I despise her and wish she would just disappear. She has ruined my closest friendship. She cast doubt, trying to destroy my image. Even worse, I have no idea why she did it.
To put it simply, I was blindsided. I felt my heart tear in half. The pain was too much. I never cry, but this caused me to emotionally break down; I cried for days.
I need to stop thinking about it. I don’t want to be all fucked up when Matt arrives. I hope that he has a good time with my husband and me. We are looking forward to seeing him.
Things weren’t going my way straight out the gates. Thankfully I had my alarm set for 6:45 AM, because Daddy forgot about having to drive me to my facet injections I was scheduled for. I raced to get dressed, put the dogs out, and so on.
However, when I went to make coffee, the water reservoir was empty (thanks to the husband), and my pink camo travel mug was missing (because my cousin’s wife accidentally took it home with her lol). I’m already trying to not go Hulk, but let’s face it. I went Hulk.
So, left without any coffee. My coping skills weren’t there. And I don’t have patience for ANYONE or ANYTHING because I have been in a great deal of pain and suffering from my back going out. No joke, for about 4 days I was the biggest piece of shit in existence. Bet that sounds like an award-winning statement.
However, I’m doing better. The morphine injection before the facet injections helped a lot. My injections didn’t hurt as bad, and I felt some relief. I’m a little more nicer than the way I started my morning.
We hurried home because I am moving into our new house in Surprise. So, I’m loading up clothes, fabric, chairs, tables, and such. The house in Buckeye will have my parents and brother. Some of the smaller things can be left behind, to get picked up whenever I need.
I’m just exhausted from the packing last night, not sleeping, and the early morning back injections. I could fall asleep right now, but then tonight would be no sleep, all over again.
And I am starving. In three days, I have eaten one baked potato. I’m ready to eat dogs, or neighborhood children, if I don’t get fed soon. Grrr….
Work is never done. Time to get more done.
The last several weeks have been, what I would consider, a really long clusterfucking in the ass.
I have come to realize that some friends that I have known for years, don’t really give a shit about me, believe I’m some gullible mother fucker, and that I don’t have the intelligence that surpasses their own.
Then, there’s the people who I know strictly from the internet, through common interests, who actually give a shit about me, respect my quirks, opinions, and intelligence. People who have never met me, love me, and treat me like a human being.
It’s time to start cleaning up my life, starting with the removal of the people who have taken advantage of my kindness and generosity. Some of which I’ll never see again anyway.
A “friend” of mine, who actually has been in my life since I was about 12 years old, has been feeding me a plethora of lies and bullshit. I wouldn’t have minded it so much, but she put my life right in the middle of her lies, and insulted my intelligence. I know she’s lying through her teeth. I’m just going to walk away quietly and hope she doesn’t even realize I’m gone. I’m sick of the crap and I refuse to be involved any further.
I do have two really sweethearts of friends who I have met here in Arizona. One of the ladies I met through sugar gliders. She bought from me, I taught her things and watched her grow in the community. I became best of friends with her, and can’t imagine what life would be like if I ever lost her. Julia is an amazing woman, and we always have a blast when we are together. We talk on the phone almost every day, not including the texts and Snapchat we exchange all day.
Dee is a newer friend. She is into hockey, like me! Our husbands play inline hockey together, so that was how I got to know her. Her husband is really sweet, and they have a beautiful little daughter.
I’m hoping that I can coordinate a lunch/dinner at my house so that they can meet. Lasagna, bad movies, and food comas. It will be a good time.
As far as the friends I’ve made through the internet, they all have a special place in my heart. They have been supportive, kind, loving, and all-around some awesome people. They each have their own unique quirks and really make my life much more positive.
That is the name of the game, now. No more negative influences. No more allowing myself to be walked on, lied to, treated like shit, or made to feel like I am not worth anything. I’m better than the crap I have endured. No retaliation. Stay above it all.
Today, in my opinion, is a wonderful sentiment when we all celebrate women; past, present, and future. We celebrate the women of the past who fought for voting rights, equality, and women’s health (breast cancer screening and vaginas/sex health, including screening for STD’s).
Without those brave and strong willed fighters, who knows where we would be presently, on into the future.
Thank you to all of the women of the past, the present, and to the young ladies of the future. We need to continue working together. We need to help each other. We need to build each other up; not tear each other down.
United we stand; divided we fall.
I’m exhausted. Sick and should probably be in the ER.
Regardless, I keep trying to help others in need especially where sugar gliders are concerned. Problem is, there are people who think that because they have an opinion, it’s their duty to make sure it is heard.
I’m trying to ask questions to assist my helping, and am being accused of being rude. Fine. But, how are you expected to help if you don’t ask something? There are no fix-all answers. Without knowing information you could potentially put someone’s gliders into harms way.
Nope. Sorry. That’s wrong. I’m mean for wanting to know how to help.
It’s days like this that I truly hate ignorance. Don’t call me an ass because I want to help. Try looking at yourself and your ignorance before you state its your right to be a dumbass and try to insult my help along the way.
I’m so done today. Don’t give a shit if anyone needs help. Figure it out yourself since nothing I am doing for you is appreciated.
Life has been very busy. Especially because of Christmas and helping my dad. We visited family friends and strangers, trying our best to bring joy, love, and the Christmas spirit.
Nothing makes my heart smile more than seeing children and how they react to the magic that is Santa. My dad and I love doing this.
I realized the other day that he has been doing his Santa role since he was 16, and I started helping him when I turned 16! How awesome is that?!
Anyway, I’m going to chill for a little bit. Last night was date night with my husband. We went to Gila Bend Arena to watch the AZ Coyotes vs Dallas Stars. The Coyotes lost, but there was an awesome brawl that happened. I love that shit!
I never expected to attend so many professional sporting events as I have this year! Spring Training to watch the White Sox vs Cubs game, two NFL games to watch AZ Cardinals, and a NHL game. I think that’s more than I could have ever hoped for. I feel absolutely lucky!
Hopefully everyone had a great year, and next year continues to get even better!
Since he retired my daddy has grown a beard. He looks awesome; just wish it was longer.
My dad has been a professional Santa Claus since he was 16 years old. He attended my school’s Christmas concerts, walked the halls of the schools handing out candy and bringing joy to us all. I have always been proud to have a father like him. He truly understands the meaning of selfless giving.
Tuesday, dressed up in his Santa hat, and a Santa suit t-shirt, he brought wonder and excitement to several kids as we were shopping at our local grocery store. One little guy (probably no older than 6 years old) in particular was the cutest thing I have ever seen.
This little guy ran up to him, yelling in excitement, “Are you Santa?!”
Dad crouched down to let him know that he was, and asked the little guy if he was being good. His mother was just so stunned, and in the moment. Her face was priceless. She thanked him several times. This kid was practically floating from excitement. I couldn’t stop giggling.
He asked Santa if he could have a remote controlled race car, and his mom nodded to my dad “yes”. So, he made a promise that if this little guy was good, he just might get that car. They shook hands in a promise to be very good, and that kid floated the rest of the way through the store.
It’s this stuff that makes this time of the year beautiful and magical. Hope we get some more awesome stories, the closer we get to Christmas. If we do, I will definitely share!