The things I learn…

Several entries ago, I touched on a topic that hurt my heart. It was a friend who dropped me for no reason and no explanation.

I found out that she has left her second husband, and though not divorced yet, she’s already engaged to someone else. I’m utterly lost for words. I don’t know what chain of events lead to this path, or much else.

I hope she finds peace and happiness. I’ll love her, still, but at a distance. I’m going to pray for everyone involved. 

No grudges. No hurt. No anger. Just love. Because in the end, love conquers all. 

My buddy and me…

My brother, Patrick, is three years younger than me. He has mental disabilities, making his mentality to function, slower, and much like a 10 year old (instead of his age range of an in 30’s man). 

He is my buddy. Yes, we fight sometimes. Yes, he can be frustrating because he acts like a little kid (but who doesn’t from time to time); temper tantrums and all that jazz. However, he is generally a very sweet and very happy.

Patrick just had knee surgery on Tuesday (March 10th) morning. He had a cyst removed from behind his kneecap and some fixing of torn ligaments. This surgery has made him the hap-hap-happiest person on the entire planet. He can walk with less pain, even though he just had the surgery done. 

He is so excited about everything right now. Example: he plays Pokémon Go. As an added bonus, I play, too, but because I like having something to do while we walk around. After every time we go out, he tells me how much fun it was, how grateful he is that I spent time with him, and so on. He always tells my parents how much fun he’s having. One night, he even said how he loves doing the game and walking with me because he knows I will protect him.

How sweet is that? Heartbreaking, too. Throughout his life he has been attacked verbally and physically, because assholes think he’s an easy target. I, on the other hand, will cut a bitch. Don’t test me…

We are getting ready right now so we can go walk around and play the game! 

Let’s celebrate!

Today, in my opinion, is a wonderful sentiment when we all celebrate women; past, present, and future. We celebrate the women of the past who fought for voting rights, equality, and women’s health (breast cancer screening and vaginas/sex health, including screening for STD’s).

Without those brave and strong willed fighters, who knows where we would be presently, on into the future.

Thank you to all of the women of the past, the present, and to the young ladies of the future. We need to continue working together. We need to help each other. We need to build each other up; not tear each other down. 

United we stand; divided we fall.

Ramble on!

So much to share. None of it is really important, but fun.

A week ago I was admitted to a semi local cancer care centre to have a transfusion cocktail. It wasn’t too bad, but I was sick and sore for a few days after. Otherwise, everything went very well.

I’ve been actively seeking a new house somewhere more central to Phoenix. More for my husband’s work and pending promotion. Having a difficult time finding what I like. So, talked with my parents, and maybe building a new home would be more appropriate at this time. I’m riddled with anxiety, and lousy with pain all over my body. I’m bad at this house business. 

Sunday was pretty good. I dyed my mohawk with a mix of Pravana’s violet and orchid. Gives it a really nice hue in the sun. 

Here’s a before:

And this is after:

I love it!

That is pretty much it. Prepared the living room for when my brother gets home from knee surgery. 

Have an awesome day, everyone!

Stop trying to think for yourself!

It’s sad. We spend so much time on the internet, that we lose ourselves. Human contact is scary, so we hide. We fight over petty, childish bullshit. I see it like everyone is playing King of the Hill, but no one can manage to get to the top, so we try to set up our victories without getting off the first level.

I had to do a large cleansing on Facebook. I’m disgusted with some of the people I was “friends” with. They spout off inconsistent “facts” about politics, abortions, and racist, indecent thoughts. Correct them and you’re immediately attacked. 

Sorry I have a neutral view on things, but don’t try to minimize my experiences just because you’re a fucking extremist. I’ve got no time for that psycho bullshit. My health, family, fur-kids, and friends are way more important than your hate, spewing at me because you’re too special to apply ANY facts to back up what you’re vomiting all over my Facebook posts.

Ignorance, hate, fear, and the internet make people dangerously popular. Hate attracts way too many people. Can’t think for themselves. Won’t let others share opinions with factual data.

Why even bother? 

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away…

I didn’t write yesterday about my transfusion. I was physically drained from it all. I slept through most of it in the big, comfy chair I picked out. Reclined back, curled up, and fell asleep. 

When I woke up, my bag was almost empty, and Daddy came in to see how I was, and to assist me to the car.

I felt nauseated and my arm was really sore. Got home and watched a movie with my brother. Tried to eat something, and fell asleep on my comfy couch. I’m not much better today. Debating eating, or just sip on tea. I’m not sure what to do, comme ci, comme ça.

This whole ordeal has been increasingly difficult for some of my friends to cope with. I can understand why; it’s not easy watching someone just deteriorate. I know I can’t tell them everything is fine because it’s not. Even I am finding myself scared, so how can I convince them otherwise?

I’m sure my plan is flawed, but simple. I’m going to remain strong, determined to keep going, and as positive as humanly possible. I try to minimize most of my problems anyway, so I won’t be changing now. I don’t want anyone to worry about me; they all have their own lives and issues. They shouldn’t have to worry about mine as well.

My motto is as eloquently put as Deadpool has in the comics and movie; “Maximum Effort.”

That’s about it for my thoughts. I am cold and tired. I’m going to wrap myself up in a blanket and take a little nap. 

Dad of the Year

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My brother loves Pokémon. He plays the game that was released for phones. I have never really been a fan, but I like doing things with him because he really appreciates feeling involved.

So, I have been playing the game with him. I drive to different locations near where we live, and spend about one to two hours walking, talking, and playing the game. Tonight was one of those nights that we went out and walked around for a couple hours.

We arrived at the park and started checking in. I immediately noticed an older gentleman standing about 20 feet from us. I could hear him playing a game, and found out he was actually playing the same game. His daughter was with him, but it was evident that the game was way more important than playing basketball with her. She begged him constantly to play, but he was way more invested in his game.

So, I knocked him out of his 1st place position at the gym. He knocks me right back out. This went on for an hour. He would just start to walk away to where his daughter was, I would beat him, and he would immediately turn around to come back to try and defeat me. 

He actually was so angry, that he yelled at his daughter to leave him alone, just so he could try to win back the gym. My brother was cracking up. 

There’s not much in this world that can top the satisfaction I felt from pissing off a complete stranger just from playing a stupid game. 

He wins the award for being a total jerk to his poor daughter, who just wanted to have fun with her dad. Way to go!

Scurrrd….

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Tomorrow I am headed to a new clinic. I’m not quite sure as to why, but I know it’s going to be another bumpy road ahead of me, again. 

I am sure that I’m down blood and iron. The clinic seemed frantic with trying to get me in as soon as possible. It was scheduled, but nothing was mentioned because she didn’t have any notes other than an urgent notice.

So, I find out tomorrow what my transfusion cocktail will consist of. I’m more scared of going to a new place than I am finding out if I have a bad case of Ebola and Tommy Lee Hepatitis. I loathe change. My anxiety is going to wear me out. But I might sleep well tomorrow night despite the anxiety I will have battled all day.

Why even bother?

I’m exhausted. Sick and should probably be in the ER. 

Regardless, I keep trying to help others in need especially where sugar gliders are concerned. Problem is, there are people who think that because they have an opinion, it’s their duty to make sure it is heard.

I’m trying to ask questions to assist my helping, and am being accused of being rude. Fine. But, how are you expected to help if you don’t ask something? There are no fix-all answers. Without knowing information you could potentially put someone’s gliders into harms way. 

Nope. Sorry. That’s wrong. I’m mean for wanting to know how to help. 

It’s days like this that I truly hate ignorance. Don’t call me an ass because I want to help. Try looking at yourself and your ignorance before you state its your right to be a dumbass and try to insult my help along the way.

I’m so done today. Don’t give a shit if anyone needs help. Figure it out yourself since nothing I am doing for you is appreciated.

Marching forward!

Life has been very busy. Especially because of Christmas and helping my dad. We visited family friends and strangers, trying our best to bring joy, love, and the Christmas spirit.

Nothing makes my heart smile more than seeing children and how they react to the magic that is Santa. My dad and I love doing this. 

I realized the other day that he has been doing his Santa role since he was 16, and I started helping him when I turned 16! How awesome is that?!

Anyway, I’m going to chill for a little bit. Last night was date night with my husband. We went to Gila Bend Arena to watch the AZ Coyotes vs Dallas Stars. The Coyotes lost, but there was an awesome brawl that happened. I love that shit!

I never expected to attend so many professional sporting events as I have this year! Spring Training to watch the White Sox vs Cubs game, two NFL games to watch AZ Cardinals, and a NHL game. I think that’s more than I could have ever hoped for. I feel absolutely lucky!

Hopefully everyone had a great year, and next year continues to get even better!